The Best Christmas Rap Songs

Album: Kurtis Blow, “Christmas Rappin’ 12” (1979)

As I’m sure you know from reading our list of the best living hip-hop producers since 1979 from the beginning (or do you?), “Christmas Rappin'” had a more fiscal than artistic genesis. Two Billboard editors saw the checks one of their colleagues was getting for writing Christmas songs and wanted in on the action. So they wrote a rap version of “A Visit From St. Nicholas” and had it performed by a charismatic MC named Kurtis Blow, who threw in a few of his own party rhymes at the end. But as cynical as the beginning was, the result was magical. The song was a hit from the winter of 1979 to the spring of 1980, making Kurtis the first rap star on a major label. Even today, almost forty years later, it’s enough for Kurtis to take a nineteenth-century poem by Clement Clarke Moore with a “Hold it, hold it, hold it. That’s it, then,” to get any Christmas party going.

Album: The Cold Crew, “Rappin’ Christmas”/“Rappin’ New Year” Single (1982)

The Cold Crew has only released one single, as far as I can tell. But what a single it was. In late 1982, the country was in the midst of a recession, so the group produced a song that fit that time. In “Rappin’ Christmas,” Santa has fallen on hard times due to Reaganomics. The economic downturn has cost him his reindeer, his toys and even Mrs. Claus. And when he decides to defy the odds and visit the big city anyway, his sleigh breaks down and he gets mugged. The only ones who seem to be enjoying themselves are the rats, who are busy stealing candy canes. If you want an accurate picture of the early days of the Reagan era, you could do a lot worse.

Album: Various Artists, Beat Street (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) – Vol. 2 (1984)

Santa’s Rap” from the 1984 hip-hop drama Beat Street is an old-school rap artifact that, while musically dated, is just as relevant in content as it was back in the ’80s. Though performed as a nightclub skit in the film, “Santa’s Rap” works perfectly as a full-fledged pre-Golden Age rap song in the form of a conversation between Santa and two giftless adversaries who have had enough of his class-conscious bullshit. The patterned claps and keyboard riffs are typical of the early days of rap music in New York City, but it’s the song’s lyrics (“Jingle, jangle, jingle for the poor/And once you get your welfare check/Y’all can kiss my mistletoe”) that make it both a catchy Christmas number and a notable thought-provoker about socioeconomics.

Album: Various Artists, Christmas Rap (1987)

Staying true to her name, Sweet Tee has recorded one of the sweetest, most oxymoronic Christmas raps ever with “Let The Jingle Bells Rock.” Despite her emphatic tone and rocking beat that only barely approaches “Bust A Move” quality, Sweet Tee raps about cuddling, candy canes and enjoying the holiday season while you can. Musically, it’s just another ’80s rap beat inspired by the Sugarhill Gang and Marley Marl, but Sweet Tee’s willingness to rap about something as gentle as a kiss under the mistletoe is admirable and the epitome of good, clean Christmas fun for the whole family.

Album: Various Artists, A Very Special Christmas (1987)

In 1987, Bill Adler, then Def Jam’s PR chief and a well-known Christmas music fan, was on his way to a studio session with Run-DMC when they were to record a Christmas song for a charity album. From two things he brought with him – the idea that the group should write about their home neighborhood and a copy of the 1968 compilation Soul Christmas – hip-hop’s greatest Christmas song was born. If you don’t automatically start filling out DMC’s mom’s menu as soon as you hear “It’s Christmas time in Hollis, Queens…” then there’s no hope for you. Little bonus: The video for the song was directed by Graffiti Rock creator and former Basquiat bandmate Michael Holman, and the makeup for the clip was done by Entourage’s Debi Mazar.

Album: Eazy-E, 5150: Home 4 tha Sick (1992)

Eazy-E was not named “The Godfather of Gangsta Rap” for nothing. Only someone who has lived and breathed the filthy rap genre could spoil something as pure as Christmas in the best possible way. ‘Merry Muthafuckin’ X-Mas’ is more of a celebration of freaking out with a hint of Christmas spirit, but any song that mentions Santa Claus is fair game for a ‘Christmas Music’ stamp. The collective hip-hop genius of Eazy-E and company shines through in every aspect of this song – the unadulterated American rap beat, the featured verses, the manipulated Christmas sound effects. It’s salacious, explicit, and almost exactly the opposite of what you’d expect from a Christmas song. And yet, somehow, it feels less dirty than any version of “Santa Baby” ever recorded.

Album: Master P Presents West Coast Bad Boyz, High Fo Xmas (1994)

“Christmas in the ghetto ain’t worth shit / Tell Santa he better watch out. If you ever wanted a general idea of how disadvantaged people feel about Christmas, the first line of Master P and C-Murder’s “Christmas in the Ghetto” speaks volumes. The production is reminiscent of “Deck the Halls,” one of the most famous Christmas songs of all time. But the beat relies largely on a West Coast foundation that would have fit well with an artist like 2Pac. Instead, New Orleans brothers P and C (who were then from Northern California and about to return home and take over the game) rhyme about the unfair way Christmas plays out for people who can’t afford to give their family and friends the monetary equivalent of their love.